Friday, March 18, 2011

Sudden Death

The sudden death of a friend or family member changes us. Adults like to say that teenagers think they are indestructible. They don't really think that. They just don't think. Period. We all have moments when our thoughts lapse and we make mistakes. Often, those mistakes are forgiven by the fates. Sometimes, they aren't. The quick text while driving. Reaching for something on the floorboard...just for a second. Walking out of the house with the burner left on the stove. Backing up without checking our mirrors. Assuming we are healthy without getting a physical exam. Over the past few weeks, three young athletes have collapsed and died after games in which they excelled. Sudden death. From triumph to tragedy in the blink of an eye.

How are we supposed to come to terms with death? It's too late for bargaining or deal-making. Death has come to live among us. Death has taken one of our own and left a void. We can fill that void with bitterness and blame, anger and accusation. That path leads to destruction. But why? Why did this person have to die? The question is valid, but no good answer exists. We search our faith and spirituality for answers that will bring comfort and help us accept the loss and keep moving forward with life. For Christians, a heavenly reunion awaits. And yet, in our friend's home, the grief has just begun. Always, always.

As my student said to me after attending the funeral of his friend...our innocence is lost. 

Death swirls around us, touching strangers everyday with terror and torment. And then, it touches someone we love, and the meaning of death becomes real. It is the end of physical existence. For those who were loved by others, existence lives on in memory and longing and love.